Revenge of the Church Bulletins! (Hump Day Hope & Humor)

Revenge of the Church Bulletins!

More crazy sentences that actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services:

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. 

Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. 

Don’t let worry kill you off — let the Church help. 

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What Is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. 

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

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“Let all that I am praise the LORD; may I never forget the good things He does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies. He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagle’s!” (Psalm 103:2-5 NLT)