Hump Day Humor: Like Cats & Dogs!

Share

Why God Created Cats and Dogs:

“Lord,” said Adam one day. “You used to always walk with me in the garden. Now I hardly see you anymore. I’m lonely and it’s hard to remember just how much you love me.”

God said, “No problem! I’ll create a companion for you that will be a reflection of my love for you. This animal will accept you just as you are and will love you just as I do, regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you get.”

So God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal, and God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail profusely.

But Adam complained, “Lord, I already named all the animals and I can’t think of a name for this new one.”

God said, “No problem! I created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, so his name should also be a reflection of my own name. Call him DOG.”

Woof! (“Like, you are SUPER, man!”)

And Dog loved Adam and the man was greatly comforted. God was pleased; and Dog was happy and wagged his tail a lot.

After a few days, Adam’s guardian angel came to God and said, “Lord, we gotta problem. Dog absolutely worships the man! Now Adam is so filled with pride that he struts around and preens like a peacock. Dog has indeed reminded Adam that he’s loved, but perhaps too much.”

Again, the Lord said, “No problem! I’ll create for Adam another companion who’ll see him as he really is, one that will remind him of his limitations.” And God created CAT.

But Cat would not obey Adam. And when Adam gazed into Cat’s eyes, he knew that he was definitely not the supreme being. Then Adam learned humility.

“Purr-fect!”

God was pleased. Dog was happy. But Cat didn’t give a hoot one way or another!

(Disclaimer: it’s just a joke, guys.)

“The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.” (Samuel Butler)

“I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat.” (Edgar Allan Poe)

Share

Hump Day Hope & Humor: Almost There!

Share

We’re halfway to St. Valentine’s Day, a celebration inaugurated to honor a Third-Century Christian. We’ll have more on that story Friday. Today, however, we simply want to remind everyone that there’s no better time to spread a little love and happiness. The Feast of Saint Valentine is not just for married couples or people who are dating. In fact, the holiday didn’t become associated with romantic love until the High Middle Ages (around the 12th Century) when the bawdy storyteller Geoffrey Chaucer popularized the notion. So, feel free to spread some good cheer among your friends and coworkers. Yes, even if you’re not particularly imagecrazy about a few of them. Don’t have coworkers? Then hug your pooch! Don’t have a pooch? Then hug your neighbor’s pooch. Your neighbor doesn’t have a pooch? Then hug your neighbor. No, wait! That might not be the best advice!

Guys, remember that nothing says “I care” quite like flowers. There’s still time to order or grab some from the nearest market. Don’t wait until Saturday morning to arrange things for Saturday night. And if you don’t have enough coin for roses, you can usually find a small, mixed flower “Fun Bunch” at most grocers. Ahem, cards are nice, too.

Ladies, after you finish agreeing with us, please remind yourselves that gift giving is not gender specific. Some ideas: prepare a special meal or dessert; or pick up a little token that let’s him know you appreciate him — like a new pair of socks. (You know, something he can drop on the floor when he pulls them off.)

Make it a point to do something nice for the people you care about and/or appreciate. Help bring a smile to their faces. Make someone happy!

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”   (— Maya Angelou, American author, poet, singer and actress, 1928-2014)

Feeling down?  Get outdoors and enjoy God’s creation. Go for a walk in the park or on the beach. Find a nature trail. Take in a sunset (or a sunrise)! “A walk a day keeps the gloomies away!” (— Norman Vincent Peale)

Share