“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine!” (Proverbs 17:22 KJV)
A thief broke into my house last night! He started searching for money! So I jumped out of bed and searched with him!
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
Goal for 2016: Lose just 10 pounds! Only 15 to go.
Don’t mean to brag, but … I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes flat.
Need exercise? I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.
Last night I ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Actually, it was just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. OKAY! So it was a pizza! I ate a pizza! Cheeze!
Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
And remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero outside they closed school? Me neither.
I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented, but … I forgot where I was going with this.
Recipe of the week: How to prepare Tofu
1. Carefully unwrap tofu
2. Throw it in the trash
3. Grill some meat
PS: Sunday, March 13, 2016 was the start of Daylight Savings Time. Did you forget to set your bathroom scale back 10 pounds on Saturday Night?
Special thanks to Wanda Espaillat for forwarding these funny bits to us!